Heartache

Posted by diana in Last, Life, Relationship on April 7, 2010

How do you deal with a broken heart that’s never going to heal? Even though you trick yourself into believing that you’re going to be fine, but the reality is that, you are never going to be the same. Things will never be how they used to be, you can never find that joy again. It just burns deep inside. The scar you have digs into your soul, and you’re no longer the same. Yes, you end up being extremely superficial on the outside, and shows no emotion, period. You know all the right things to say to another who’s experiencing a heartache like you, but you never take your own advice because deep inside, you know it’s bullshit. As harsh as reality is, I need to face it instead of covering it up, or else I will just completely lose myself.

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Leaving

Posted by diana in Last, Life, School on September 19, 2009

Today is a sad day and a happy day. I’m sad because I’m leaving everyone I love behind, I’m happy because I’m taking a step closer to my career. I’m going to Bournemouth UK today. Everything will be so different. I’m nervous. I’m going to miss my baby so much. I pray things will be good for him while I’m gone. I hope this long distance relationship will work out. After all, we’ve been together for almost 8 years, it is time to get a break from staring at each other all day long? LOL. I’ll have to try to make the best of this. So scary, so exciting, so nervous. I hope things will work out great for both of us.

UK, here I come!

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Life is full of sorrow and obstacles….

Posted by diana in Last, Life on September 10, 2009

I’m feeling extremely down and sad. I can’t sleep, can’t think, don’t know what to do. I wish there is a button that I could press and just say “fix” and all my problems will go away. I’m worried about my boo, he’s been through so much, yet he’s so tough. I wish that I can help him more than I’m capable of. I know it may not make sense, but my heart hurts when he’s in pain. I just want to cry out loud, let it all out. I pray that God will help him, help us through these hard times.

Have you ever felt so useless in a situation, that all you can do is watch? I feel that way right now. So many bad things are happening, is the world coming to an end? Have we angered God so much that the time has come? I feel as if I’m a dim candle light trying to shine through the darkness. I need God to show me the way. I’m so lost. Am I doing everything wrong? I just want to do things right, to make things good again. Have you ever felt so desperate? So unsure? So lost?

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Surgery Day

Posted by diana in Last, Shopping on May 20, 2009

Today is the day for boyfriend to get his wrist surgery. He has his scaphoid bone in each of his wrist broken. They did the surgery on the right one first. They had to cut his hip open to take a bone for bone graft in order to heal his wrist bone. Everything went well, and he is SO high on pain killers. I’m just happy that he was able to go through it without any complications. Funny thing at the hospital, the old lady nurse was almost like hitting on him. She’s calling him “son”, admiring his jacket, saying he’s such a “sweetheart”. Maybe she see him as a “son” figure, but she was really over the top to me :doh: . Then when we got to the pharmacy and was ready to leave, my car battery died! Well, at least it’s not the transmission or anything else major. Cost me nearly $80 to get that replaced. Then at night, I discovered that my break light stopped working :( . Things just aren’t going my way! I guess I really have to take the time and try to get everything fixed :[ . I have been drooling over this and this. They are so sexy! I really want to get both. Now with the car problem, who knows how long it’d be before I can even consider buying them.

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