Sometimes, I feel so alone, deep inside. Feels like the connection is breaking slowly. Yet I’m still trying to hold on what may never be there. Dreams have turn to nightmares, I wonder when will the end come. The feeling of this emptiness inside, is draining all of me. I feel nothing, but an unknown strong emotion that I cannot describe, cannot release. Because it won’t release.
I search for an answer, but only to find more questions. Where should I go? What should I do? Is this my destiny? Is this the fate that I am cursed with? Will there be a day when I can see the light in this dark tunnel? To break free of this anguish?
I want to cry, but no tears will fall. I want to run, but my knees are weak. I want to scream, but my voice is silent.
Will this ever end for me?
It’s almost been a week since boyfriend left for Vancouver, the reality is slowly sinking in. I can’t see him when I come home from work, cuddle with him when we’re watching TV, hear and see his smile. I have to keep myself occupied in order to not get sad. They say loneliness is good for the soul, but I would rather be with him.
“Love the ones you can. Touch the ones you can reach. Let the others go.”
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, Only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be, And that you have wasted years on someone who wasn’t worth it. If that person isnt worth it now, its not going to worth in a year or 10 years from now.
“Let go of what’s gone and hold on to what you have.”
Saw this on my friend Kristine’s facebook, and I just have to write about it.
I’ve spent basically the last decade dedicating my heart to someone, believing that one day, he will see and understand. But reality comes in, it doesn’t always work like in the movies. Things don’t always pan out the way you think it’ll be. Seems like all of my past relationships always ended up with me being heartbroken and alone, while the other party ended up either married, have kids, or happy with someone else. I swear I feel like Good Luck Chuck, where every girl he sleeps with gets hitched.
Now I’m involved in something that I don’t even know what I’m doing. This is brand new and scary to me. I’m not young any more, I don’t have much time to waste. As much as it hurts to be alone, I have to face the fact that this might be it for me. I’m not giving up, I’m just choosing me and what makes me happy and not being hurt, wondering all the time…